Rosary Enthusiast Gifts

'Thank you so much! Now I'll have to start all over again!'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Mad about Roses!

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

The ecumenical dinner party.

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"What did Jesus order?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

"Amen. Please help me up."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

Praying mantis.

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

Catholic-Protestant Debates. . .

Honk if you're holy.

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"Hallelujah!"

Attila the Nun.

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

Got god? (no you don't...He's got you!)