Rosary Enthusiast Gifts

'Thank you so much! Now I'll have to start all over again!'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Mad about Roses!

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

The ecumenical dinner party.

"What did Jesus order?"

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

Praying mantis.

"Amen. Please help me up."

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

Honk if you're holy.

"You're correct, God doesn't need your tithe, but the church does."

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

Attila the Nun.

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"Hallelujah!"

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."