Room Design Pillows

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

"We must work hard to preserve the natural habitat of all Earth's creatures."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Interior design trends for parents....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"I didn't spark joy."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Second hand furniture.

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Use your imagination.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Home depot."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."