Room Layout Enthusiast Pillows

"Jack sensed that Susan was planning to rearrange the furniture again."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

"That's still too high"

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'We'll take it!'

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

Angry boss

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

'I don't like the painting either, but it is part of our corporate culture.'

"I don't know what to do anymore! Our new carpet was really expensive but so was the dog!"

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

"Quick mommy, call Sothebys."

Alien with flying spaceships on wall instead of flying ducks

"If you haven't got a TV, what do you point your furniture at?"

'Impressive screen, but doesn't it put you off your tea?'

"Frank?"

"Love the exposed chessboard."

"The distressed-style wood flooring we installed in the kitchen seems to have crept into Fred!"

'So this is a kitchen!'

"You should be happy. How many husbands even notice window treatments?"

'I hired a decorator.'