Rook Ruler T-Shirts

A Chess Castle.

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Gracie for Queen...of the universe.

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

A politician's dream come true...

'Interactive TV news.'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

"Why, this is fit for me!"

"God, I love this show!"

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"I see that grading papers for the teacher is going to your head."

'Your Majesty could have gold fish in the moat.'

'It's not a bad little kingdom - as kingdoms go.'

"I am a control freak."

'I know you're going to inherit the throne from your father, but I want you to go to medical school just in case.'

"Trust no one."

No, it doesn't help when he calls it "oarabics."

"Dear diary: Pillage, conquer, scheme, poison — same old thing. Plus, my new robe makes me look fat!"

"Sky, sir?"

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

"I have no problem with dictatorships; my problem is with not being the dictator."

"You're in my realm now - keep your hands off the thermostat."

"I exiled the lot of them. How are your kids?"

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"I want to be feared as a tyrant, loved as a father, and revered as a god, but I also want them to think I'm funny."

'Perhaps it's time to take this relationship to the next level.' 'I'm not sharing the remote.'

'What do you mean it's deep? It's not even up to my ankles.'

"Until you've abused it, you've never really tasted power."

"You got him running scared, kid. He thinks he might actually kill you."

Remote controlled jester.

Skate! Skate! Skate!

'Let's see.... oh, dang! - 'Conquer Bosnia-Herzegovina'!'