Rook Ruler Gifts

A Chess Castle.

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Gracie for Queen...of the universe.

A politician's dream come true...

'Interactive TV news.'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

"Why, this is fit for me!"

'It's not a bad little kingdom - as kingdoms go.'

"I see that grading papers for the teacher is going to your head."

'Your Majesty could have gold fish in the moat.'

"I am a control freak."

"Sky, sir?"

"Dear diary: Pillage, conquer, scheme, poison — same old thing. Plus, my new robe makes me look fat!"

'I know you're going to inherit the throne from your father, but I want you to go to medical school just in case.'

"Trust no one."

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

"I have no problem with dictatorships; my problem is with not being the dictator."

"I exiled the lot of them. How are your kids?"

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"I want to be feared as a tyrant, loved as a father, and revered as a god, but I also want them to think I'm funny."

'Perhaps it's time to take this relationship to the next level.' 'I'm not sharing the remote.'

"Until you've abused it, you've never really tasted power."

'What do you mean it's deep? It's not even up to my ankles.'

Remote controlled jester.

Skate! Skate! Skate!

'Let's see.... oh, dang! - 'Conquer Bosnia-Herzegovina'!'

'You don't get all bent out of shape when LADY GODIVA does it!'