Romantic Gesture Skeptics Pillows

"I'd like your homemade birthday card a lot better if it weren't scribbled on a bar napkin."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

Say it with flowers

'The ones with the teethmarks are the had centers.'

Rude Snowpeople

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

A man carries a huge bouquet of flowers.

"Just once, when you bring me a bouquet of flowers can you not pull it from your sleeve?!"

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"So I gave her the 2-diamond love-and-BFFF ring and she grave me a big kiss, sold it, and went on a cruise. That's bad, right?!"

Mexican Serenade.

"I'd rather you'd said it with diamonds."

"You big softy! How did you know I'm tired of being fought over?"

"Say it with Pierogies"

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

'I want to mark this as our special place.'

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

Untold Love Stories "Beauty and the Beets". We think you would be more beautiful if you dyed your hair a purplish red.

'Marry me!'

"I've finally found my soulmate."

"OK, what have you done?"

"I believe in love at first sight. It saves a lot of time."

'You remembered it's Valentine's Day!'

'...I can't believe you surprised me with a romantic balloon ride for our anniversary!'

"I bought my wife a diamond planet"

Bakery - say it with flour.

"I’ll give you my answer in ... just ... one ... minute."

Missing you...

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"The answer is NO!"