Romantic Gesture Critic Pillows

"What - 20 liters of gasoline for me?? Honey, you're crazy! That's way too expensive! A diamond necklace would have been quite enough!"

Woman disgusted by a pose of chessy flowers offered by man

'I swear, sometimes I don't think you even try anymore, John!'

"Glad she liked them."

Say it with flowers

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'The ones with the teethmarks are the had centers.'

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

Rude Snowpeople

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

A man carries a huge bouquet of flowers.

"You big softy! How did you know I'm tired of being fought over?"

"I'd rather you'd said it with diamonds."

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

"Just once, when you bring me a bouquet of flowers can you not pull it from your sleeve?!"

Mexican Serenade.

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"So I gave her the 2-diamond love-and-BFFF ring and she grave me a big kiss, sold it, and went on a cruise. That's bad, right?!"

"Say it with Pierogies"

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

Untold Love Stories "Beauty and the Beets". We think you would be more beautiful if you dyed your hair a purplish red.

"I believe in love at first sight. It saves a lot of time."

'I want to mark this as our special place.'

"OK, what have you done?"

"I've finally found my soulmate."

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

'Marry me!'

'You remembered it's Valentine's Day!'

'...I can't believe you surprised me with a romantic balloon ride for our anniversary!'

Valentine's Day

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"I’ll give you my answer in ... just ... one ... minute."