Romantic Correspondent Gifts

"He must be really serious to send you something a permanent as an email."

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

"Solitude is so much better if you have someone to share it with."

A man surrounded with lovehearts

Science Applied to Art

'A long-awaited government shake-up: A 'ditto-head' will replace a 'yes-man'...A 'croney' will replace an 'insider'...'

Sally Jessy Raphael

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'

Breaking news

'Frankly, don't bother fighting over me: I don't fancy either of you...'

"The good news today is that there is no news."

Second dates are trickier. They ask the same questions as on the first date, looking for inconsistencies.

'My date last night was a 10. Of course, I'm using the binary system.'

"I'm internet dating. I'm looking for someone I can morph and tweak."

'Sorry, guys, but we can't go in until we've got real time media coverage.'

Jung and in Love

When policewomen date.

"We go now to our White House correspondent... Jim? Jim?"

King Charles III's coronation

Young Accountants in Love: 'I didn't reach the same conclusion, Phil. In fact, my preliminary figures indicate we just can't go on meeting like this!'

"Do you think she's just playing 'hard to get'?"

Journalist with a 'Press Pass' being put in a laundry press.

"See anything you fancy?"

"your dad doesn't trust me does he?"

'It will never work - there's too much difference in our metamorphosis.'