Romantic Correspondent Gifts

"He must be really serious to send you something a permanent as an email."

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

Wow. Worst Tunnel of Love ever.

"Solitude is so much better if you have someone to share it with."

A man surrounded with lovehearts

Science Applied to Art

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

'A long-awaited government shake-up: A 'ditto-head' will replace a 'yes-man'...A 'croney' will replace an 'insider'...'

Sally Jessy Raphael

'Why do I get the feeling you're holding something back?'

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'

"The good news today is that there is no news."

Breaking news

'Frankly, don't bother fighting over me: I don't fancy either of you...'

'My date last night was a 10. Of course, I'm using the binary system.'

Second dates are trickier. They ask the same questions as on the first date, looking for inconsistencies.

"I'm internet dating. I'm looking for someone I can morph and tweak."

'Sorry, guys, but we can't go in until we've got real time media coverage.'

'It will never work - there's too much difference in our metamorphosis.'

Young Accountants in Love: 'I didn't reach the same conclusion, Phil. In fact, my preliminary figures indicate we just can't go on meeting like this!'

"your dad doesn't trust me does he?"

"Do you think she's just playing 'hard to get'?"

"See anything you fancy?"

Jung and in Love

When policewomen date.

, Don't Worry, We Have the Tracking Number

Journalist with a 'Press Pass' being put in a laundry press.

King Charles III's coronation