Romantic Banter Buddy Pillows

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I think it stopped breathing."

Peach flirting with a banana.

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

An Archeologic Dig

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Cold caller.

"Is that neat whisky?"

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

The Gilmore Girls

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'It was a gift.'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

'Here comes Ted.'

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

I used my first draft pick on the turkey leg. It's a proven point-getter! I drafted potatoes. They're not flashy but they are a reliable performer! I'll trade my cranberry sauce for you pie. It's a win-win trade that will benefit us both! No trades -- This pie will score a lot of points for me later! Why are they talking about this wonderful meal like it's fantasy football? It's not a game with winners and losers here. You're absolutely right! Just being here together sharing this meal,

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"