Romantic Advisor Seeker Pillows

You've reached Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you? I met this really awesome lady. I think about her daily. And I know she's thinking about me. But she told me she's also thinking about some other guy. What's the best way to not mind her thinking about him, while still enjoying the thought that she's thinking about me? You'll be fine if you think to yourself the other guy is nothing but a fleeting thought she's thinking of. You think?

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

Sitting in a tree

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

Baker Romance

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"My computer just texted me."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

Hollywood Breakup

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

'Are you sure you know what you're doing?'

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

Complaints departement for men and women.

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

Funnel of Love.

How oysters get engaged.

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'