Romance Apprehensive Gifts

"Tunnel of love"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Dating in 2020

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

Cupid's Valentine

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

"It would never work out- we're from two totally different tiers of the upper middle class."

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

'I've got SO much on my plate right now, Steve - Ask me again when I'm fifty.'

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

You are going to meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger...bringing your post.

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"Your eyes are like limpid pools. Allergies hitting you pretty bad, huh?"

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

Palm tree in love...

"Before I give you my answer I just gotta be sure you ain't one of them nasty olee-garks I've been hearing about."

"If I can't be honest with you, Cheryl, who can I pretend to be honest with?"

AIDS prevention

'Something that says I'm sorry without admitting liability.'

He wasn't a bad guy, just easily distracted.

'Why darling, I'll need more time to consider! Why, darling, I'll need more time to consider!'

'Living together might work out, Randy, but I could never comply with a whole MARRIAGE!'

'No! Romance with malice aforethought!'

"My mother was right about you."

"The Honeymoon Suite sounds perfect. My wife will need a room too."

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

'Do you have to shoot me with that. Can't you give me a couple of great pickup lines instead?'

"Hey, what do you say we just skip Valentine's Day this year?"

"Do I love myself or is it lust?"