Roman History Buff Gifts

"I was miles away - could you start again?"

'And now I've got gum stuck to the bottom of my sandal, that's it, I'm out of here.'

"Lucy, move - you're blocking Pliny the Elder."

"My Facebook page has only one like, but it is from the Emperor."

Messalina- Probably Intended to Illustrate 6th Satire of Juvenal

'Take no notice, he was raided by wolves.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chariot wheels.

'Cuts in Roman times.'

"No, five."

Neptune

"It's an outbreak of acne, Sir."

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

Tourists

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

Bacchus.

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Repurposing the aqueducts of Ancient Rome.

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

'Et tu Yakamoto?'

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

The Fall of Gnome

'Why can't we just kick Caesar upstairs?'

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

"When I said make it RIGHT, I meant correctly."

Maybe the gods aren't angry. Maybe the gods are just yanking our chain.

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"...it was believed that anyone who displeased it would meet with a terrible fate, which of course is complete nonsen..."

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'