Rolling Stones Enthusiast Gifts

'Thanks, kids. . . it's just what Grandpa wanted. . . the new remastered Rolling Stones retrospective.'

Charlie The Charmer Has Left The Building

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

Elvis Presley

We tried rocking her to sleep, but she still seems tired and cranky.

Italica

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

Eric Clapton.

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

'I'm sick and tired of your mood swings, Frank!'

Tina Turner

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

Listening to Coldplay.

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Johnny Winter.

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

Elton John

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

The concert was going smoothly until Frankenstein's band played a ballad.

"You can't blow out the candles. You're rolled."

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you?"

Ozzy Osbourne

"Face it, Mom. I'm not going to college. I want to be a Rockette!"

Young Elvis

50,000 BC: The First Engagement Ring.

Rod Stewart

Band Aid-style rock stars wear T-shirts that read : 'Feed my ego'.

Mick Jagger.