Roller Coaster Of Finance Gifts

"The stock market roller coaster rides of late have taught me a thing or two. Sell all your assets and stick with cash."

Very Difficult Conversations

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

End the Winter Blues

Wild Weather Ride - 2005.

"Tunnel of love"

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

Riding the Rollercoaster.

Giraffe Rollercoaster

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

"That was a rumor day."

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'Till debt do us part...'

Financial Advisor to client: 'Your portfolio still could earn money if you believe in the existence of junk bond elves.'

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

"Oh no! You, again?"

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Tunnel of Spotty Wi-Fi

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

"Sorry, the only way we can afford a 3D printer, is if it can print some bearer bonds."

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

Bookkeeping Club

Stock Hurricane Ride

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

Masochism for stockholders.

Canine Bank and Trust. I'd like my account to roll over. I'll go fetch it.

Mother and child riding a DNA rollercoaster.