Rollercoaster Financial Fan Gifts

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

European currency on the edge.

Economy - USA.

What do you suggest we do about this?

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'I enjoy the old-fashioned pleasures - a walk on the beach, plain food and piles of cash.'

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

"Our initial public offering, .... The public has gotten wind of it!"

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'You go without me. I'm feeling a little down today.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

Shareholders Meeting - We will be paying a dividend but I will not be announcing it here.

Saving Spain

Circa 1490: The area we now know as Wall Street.

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

"It's a sci-fi-nance- when the DOW is 100,000."

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

Wall Street...

'How much did you save this year?'

The Cashless Society is Here

"Good news on Wall Street today"

August is corporate earnings restatement season.