Financial Absurdity Fan Gifts

"Inland Revenue, sir. We have reason to believe you have found a way to take it with you."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Loan Alley

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Jumping Wall Street.

Greek Crisis

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

Golden bubbles

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

'We've had a marginal advance-decline on a near-term buy-out, but no one knows if that translates as a downturn or an up-tick.'

'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'

Black hole-in-the-wall at Jodrell Bank

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

'I called you in here because your expenses and contributions appear to be quite elaborate!'

"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"

'Well, son... I've made my first million by selling my unpaid bills to the paper-recycling guy!'

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

"Well, I guess the bubble has burst over at Phillips Rodny Associates."

'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

"In this company, GDP stands for gree, deception and profit."