Rocking Chair Collectors Gifts

Old Men On Rockers Sneeze and Fall Over.

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Tilly Slowboy

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

You can't get what up

Jack in the Box

After 9pm Harry Lomax slips quietly into cruise control.

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

"This one seems perfect, but do you have it in red?"

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

"Face it, Tim, that cute little Pet Rock you bought in 1976 is now a full-grown boulder - it's time to set him free!"

"Not just rocks--tools!"

The secret to longevity is good genes, good diet, a good lawyer and witnesses with weak eyesight and poor memories.

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'Would you like to go out to a movie with me?'

"...Nothing but rocks!"

"I'm pretty sure I've already seen a rock like that in some museum back on Earth."

'Can we go back home now, Granny?'

'Try to become less emotional, Mr Stone!'

'No kidding? -- genuine Earth rocks?'

Ooo, I love that you kept all the exposed fossil.

It

Swiss-army rock...

'It replaces all your small rocks with one convenient large one.'

One afternoon on mars.

'It has to have big living room, he has a sixty inch rock.'

Bit of a mix-up. The advert should have said 'Stalactite wanted'

"I decided to invest in precious metals - I bought a new car."

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

Retro Kid.