Robotics Engineer Gifts

'We're looking for someone with your exact qualifications, but a mechanical version.'

Employees of the Month

"Fascinating!"

'I hope you don't mind me bringing a few medical students in to see you. '

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

'All those in favour of accepting more robots?'

'In case you were wondering why the doctor plays computer games all day. . . He is actually controlling me.'

Evolution of man, starting at ameba through to computer

Robotic nurse in a future hospital.

'You're right...that robot certainly has increased productivity around here!'

'I can't keep up with technology either.'

Evolution

Now Hiring! Artificial Intelligence A Plus!

Machine Wipes Sweat From Surgeon's Brow.

"I'll let it go this time, but from now on, you'd better make sure you're charged before you come to work."

'We use intelligent robots, but not to intelligent because they'd want a union.'

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"Have you tried turning yourself off, then turning yourself on again?"

"Sure, they're handy little things to have around, but you can't deny they're potentially dangerous."

"Oh no, we're not looking for humans to study artificial intelligence - we're machines who want to study humans. Interested?"

Chemical Company - Organic Division/Inorganic Division

"With some rest, vitamins and mild exercise, that metal fatigue should clear up in just a few weeks!"

'We have a diverse work force. We us three different models of robots."

"I don't know - the minute I figured out how to make it self-aware it realized it was naked, ran, and hid from me."

"This is GX-730, and I'll be your autopilot on today's flight..."

'Mom, this is my new best friend -- I built him in computer class.'

'Hi Terry. Quick question about that new gearbox you put in my Polo last week.'

"We use a few humans for the menial work of button pushing, but they'll be phased out soon."

'Our funds contain stocks chosen only by American-made robots!"

0100 hour. The Roomba uprising begins.

Automation of Security

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

A scared man who is about to have surgery performed by a robot.

'Hello, Robotaxi Cab Company?! I think one of your drivers has a screw loose!!!'

Not A Robot