Robot Conversationalist Pillows

"You can hold for an assistant, or you can go online and chat with our robot until it tells you to hold for an assistant."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"When you say you're behind me 100%, do you mean base ten or binary?"

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

'He's a man of few works. He likes to talk, he just has a limited vocabulary.'

"Oh yoo hoo, NASA, guess who found another rock! NASA? Baby, you there?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

Turing Test Today

"I don't know - the minute I figured out how to make it self-aware it realized it was naked, ran, and hid from me."

"Of course working from home is different. . ."

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"No more nuts and bolts for you!"

"I can remember when he used to try to tell us things."

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"