Robe Enthusiast Gifts

“This daily metamorphosis never fails to amaze me. Around the house, I’m a perfect idiot. I come to court, futon a black robe, and, by God, I’m it!”

"Your Honor, wrong robe."

"Well I'm off to the office."

"I don't care what 'the kids' are all wearing these days, brother Darren ..."

Presentation Skills: 1. Preparation

"Now comes the downside to this job - I need the toilet!"

"Wearing a robe all day is my favorite aspect of this job."

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

You know what'd be cool? If the president nominated me for the supreme court. Say what? It's a lifetime appointment. Once I got the job, I could just sit there and twiddle my thumbs, and nobody could fire me. I could sit there during oral arguments and just play games all day on my iPad. Sounds like a sweet deal. Plus I'd get to wear a black robe. I could get super fat and no one would ever notice.

"You know what'd be cool? If the President nominated me for the Supreme Court." "Say what?" "It's a lifetime appointment. Once I got the job, I could just sit there and twiddle my thumbs, and nobody could fire me." "I could sit there during oral arguments and just play games all day on my iPad." "Sounds like a sweet deal." "Plus I'd get to wear a black robe. I could get super fat and no one would ever notice."

It's my summer robe.

'Mom, you did say it is a bath robe.'

Don King's morning hair.

'This is a very important trial, Ferguson -- you'd better put pants on.'

Clergyman at tailors. Assistant says, 'All is safely gathered in.'

"He just woke up from hibernation."

The pastor regretted choosing sheer baptismal robes.

Old man

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Leadership suits you

Cat Tie

Men's business romper.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

Saint George and the Drag Queen

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Thank god I bought my layers."

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

Keeping warm.