Roasting Rogue Gifts

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

Harsh Mellows.

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

The First Roast Chicken.

'As a young rat, I traveled the world as a stowaway on a merchant navy ship...'

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

Marshmallow Roast

Lover

"'Superman legacy' was awful. Just awful!"

'Your previous work experience... surely you jest.'

"Oh stop judging me, Gerald!"

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

"I think you have to leave it in for ten minutes per pound."

'My dad is away, so we can play...'

You know you've been working at the same place too long when you get dusted before the file board

Fisher being dragged along by catch.

'Could you hurry up on that order for table five? -- they're holding the maitre d' hostage.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you overcook the salmon?"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

'When I hit the wall, I want to be ready.'

'I don't hassle you about YOUR comfort foods.'

'Sorry but my disposable income is tied up in a roast in the oven.'

"Excuse me, this is the work table."

'I object, your Honor! How much wood would woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood is purely conjecture!'

"Delicious Special Seasoning? Oh... That's probably just the cook's dandruff."

Sailor finds mine in his soup.

"I'd delete Facebook—But I really enjoy roasting landlords and their overpriced rentals."

Cat being guarded by security mice.

'I hate to tell you this...but you're going to have to give up red meat.'

'This new guy is getting on my nerves.'