Roast Roaster Gifts

'There's a problem with dinner - the roast didn't.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Marshmallows

Harsh Mellows.

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

"A little lamb please."

The lesser known active volcanoes.

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

The Burning Bush: How God convinced Moses to Lead His people a.k.a. the origin of s'mores.

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

Chicken

The First Roast Chicken.

'Hey, look at this beauty... Man, I love those crunchy, well tanned sweethearts!'

Trash-talkin' artists

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

"'Superman legacy' was awful. Just awful!"

'Your previous work experience... surely you jest.'

Marshmallow Roast

Emergency box in woods contains supplies for a campfire.

"Oh stop judging me, Gerald!"

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you overcook the salmon?"

Zombie scout issues

'It might be a satanic cult: Not only did they chop his head off, they're stuffing his body with bread now...'