Road Safety Buff Pillows

'Cover me whilst I cross the road...'

The best safety device is a rearview mirror with a cop car in it.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'Your Grounded!'

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

Attention: Speed Troughs

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

Gas Pedal Sticking?

Deer crossing the road on a Skidoo.

'I'll be the designated driver - you be the designated texter.'

'I'm afraid we need someone with a little more backbone for this position.'

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

How Am I Driving?

"The soft, flexible, extendible bumper gently nudges the cyclist safely out of harm's way."

'No zebras as yet. . .but we have had two school kids and a lollipop lady!'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

What if animals made roadside memorials?

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

"We ran out of salt for the roads, but we had plenty of pepper..."

How you can tell that the environmentalists won the elections...

'Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...'

'Quick, turn the siren on!'

Watch for Pedestrians.

The Cone Ranger

SmartphoneDumb Driver.

My doctor advised me to start walking more.

He suspected the driver's airbag was not functioning correctly.

Watch Out Hedgehogs

'Remember...No hexing and driving!'

The Red Cat: Lights/Red Cat Humour/Rhyme.