Road Construction Worker Gifts

'Watch your step. I lost my footing on these dang paving stones.'

Road Construction

"Woo-hoo! The world's first wheel!"

The Cone Ranger

Sandtimer stuck in time measures rate at which road repairs are taking place.

"I'll be right back. If you need anything just yell."

The day the scales broke down at the truck weigh station.

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866 - 1957...inventor of Asphalt

'Sure I have experience as a presser. I used to drive a steamroller.'

"Why do they call this 'Traffic Calming' again...?"

Road Test

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Pipe Dream.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

'I found the termites!'

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

"Wait, there's another fold? No wonder we have so many extra stones."