Rivalry Referees Gifts

'I hope our fence won't cause a conflict.'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Eat my dust!"

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

The Alpha Seltzer

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

Why moms make bad refs.

'The grudge match.'

'Oh, we don't keep score in our marriage, Dr. Downs, but if we did, I'd be winning 212 to 137.'

"To be honest, I'm not really surprised to hear your relationship isn't working out. You're not the first bacterium and penicillium to sit in those chairs and you certainly won't be the last."

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

'I told you, if the LA branch steals our thunder, there is no more dialogue.'

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

'It was all ball!'

"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

'I should never have married a bloody referee.'

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

'Bad news: the report says it's cheaper if cats make it...'

'We think a lot alike - and that threatens my uniqueness to this company.'

'Uruguayan? - No, he's from Scotland.'

"The Jacksons will be there in about an hour and I promise you guys an epic fight!"

'You know my limits, don't you?'

"I'm sorry your team lost - perhaps you should have rooted for the other team."

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

'Ref!!'

Federal Employees Annual Easter Egg Hunt: 'This isn't fair - the CIA always wins!'

Fighting Gondoliers.