Ritualistic Guru Pillows

"I'd love to, but I have a million lonely ritualistic things I need to do."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'At my age, yoga keeps me flexible, so I can still lick myself clean...'

"Mom?"

Weathervanes.

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

Valentine for Guru.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Ganges

"A non-virgin wold have had a devastating effect on crop yield."

"Teach a man to fish, and he'll know how to fish."

'How's your pilates class doing?'

Office Hazing

Guru reading 'Hedonism for Ascetics'

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

"Ralph's over-interpreting the data again."

Phyllis exercises her demons.

"It's our view that this two-tier system is unfair and divisive."

'If everything is illusory, why should I listen to you?'

'Yes...I found the light. Unfortunately it was that little one in the refrigerator.'

A pair of yoga instructors use beds of nails on the beach.

'The secret of life, son, is finding a better hiding place than I did.'

Huldrych Zwingli (Zwinglianism)

Seder Plate Symbols Explained

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."