Risk-averse Adventurer Gifts

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

Mountain climbers face a closed route.

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

"Damn it, name a figure, name a figure."

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

First aid departments

"Are there sharks in the water?"

'I know just how you feel.'

'I hate the new building inspector. He can smell fear a mile away.'

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

"Dad, it's gonna take more than that to scare me."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

"... and you've had this irrational fear that evil clowns were hiding under your bed since you were how old?"

"This is our corporate evaluation pond. If you can survive a 15 minute swim, then you are management material."

'I don't think my parents are ready for me to come out of the closet just yet.'

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

'WRONG PIN NUMBER!'

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

"I bought it on Amazon. They have a good return policy."

Palm Reading

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

'Don't be afraid!...Bobo's just going to fix the teeth a little tighter.'

A giant diamond hurtles through space toward a population of very conflicted women.

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

"It's just like that thing you've got under your bed, only this one is for old people."

"I'm helping him conquer his morbid fear of water."

"I'm scared of germs lurking under my bed."

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

'Don't worry, he's very friendly.'

'Took your advice and decided to face my fears. I still get panic attacks, but at least now there's a darn good reason.'