Risk-adverse Adventurer Gifts

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

First aid departments

Yomp Investments - Big risks sometimes means BIG BUCKS!: 'I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'...'

'I'm not sure my heart could take the excitement.'

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

'I know just how you feel.'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

"I'll go on a cruise, but not if I'm forced to learn things."

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

"I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'."

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

"After thoroughly researching all the details, I think we can now safely throw caution to the wind..."

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

'I'd like to play, but I'm afraid it might void my warranty.'

'Maybe hard work 'never killed anyone' but why take the risk?'

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."