Ringmaster Of Thanksgiving Gifts

A thanksgiving dinner in a boxing ring

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Circus

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'Do you still think we have this family under control?'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

Circus Act

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

'You've got to give her points for originality.'

Matador.

Tired mom: I thought labour ended when leaving the hospital.

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

"Those giblets are gonna have to come out."

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

'...You have some pretty big shoes to fill.'

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

"Fifi's husband was in the audience!"

"I wish we could go back to waltzes - this boogie woogie is killing me."

'Hoopla!'

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."

"O.K., now—on three, I'm going to toss a second job in there!"