Rhythmical Grumbler Gifts

"I don't mind you complaining, but please do it in time with the music."

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Irritable trowel syndrome.

The Cat's Alarm Clock

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

Rodin's Irish Judge

Boring and unnecessary meetings

'He kept saying, I'm sick of weeds. I'm sick of weeds until he got sick of weeds.'

"The planet is all wobbly this morning."

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"We saw some inspired lunacy, then had some uninspired Italian."

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

"Yes, you should have studied harder and no, you can't unsubscribe from 5th grade."

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

"OK, now here comes the lava."

Le Bolshie Chef.

'Mum! Mum!... My egg's gone all runny!'

'Why does the phone always have to ring when I'm out of the bath?!'

Man - 'This coffee tastes like mud!' Woman - 'It was ground this morning.'

Can you tell me how to sue you for flunking me out of law school?

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

'To be perfectly honest, I hate my job: I'm not really a morning person...'

"The sooner they take you off vice patrols the better."

'No, I'm still standing in this stupid line looking at the back of somebody's stupid head.'

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

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'I hate Mondays!'

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"If you are angry at being kept on hold, press 1, if you are furious press 2, if you are apoplectic with rage ..."

"Whoever invented the obituary page is a real jerk."

"Teaching's a joy until the first bell. Then the whole day's ruined."

'Irritable bowl syndrome'

"Where's the snooze button on this thing?" "Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!"

'We've figured out your problem. You're allergic to grapes.'