Rhyming Investor Gifts

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

Symbols of Wall St: bull, bear, Humpty Dumpty.

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

Two love poems in swimming pool. Shallow end and deep end.

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

"I invested in Chinese stocks just because of my ironic sense of humor - if it goes wrong, I can't even afford a bowl of Chop Suey!"

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

Markets and Marketabilityby Jane Austen

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"We'd like to take a majority position in your poetry."

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

'The action next week is going to be in bird seed, but if you quote me, I'll deny I said it.'

'Thank goodness we don't need profits in order to make piles of money.'

'It's a glorious day over Wall Street today, with barely a 20 chance of the sky falling.'

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

"I recommend that you dump the tech stocks and go into acorns."

I was more a financial magician myself. I could make money disappear very easily.

'A penny saved is a penny not stimulating the economy.'

'I'm beginning to worry -- everything I've got is tied up in investment newsletters!'

'I believe in Santa Claus, and I believe in the guaranteed annual 10% return.'

'It was love at first sight!'

Poet

"It's your cat broker, Madame - he has a hot tip on a Siamese."

'I can't take all the credit. My childhood imaginary friend picked a lot of my stocks.'

"...rhyme...rhyme...rhyme..."

Investor loses shirt in Eurozone meltdown.

'I own Acme Drug stock, so fill this prescription with their product.'