Rhyming Investor Mugs

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

Updated Nursery Rhyme #27.

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

Symbols of Wall St: bull, bear, Humpty Dumpty.

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

Two love poems in swimming pool. Shallow end and deep end.

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

"I invested in Chinese stocks just because of my ironic sense of humor - if it goes wrong, I can't even afford a bowl of Chop Suey!"

Markets and Marketabilityby Jane Austen

Maybe it's time to stop giving our bones to a broker and start burying them in the backyard again.

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"We'd like to take a majority position in your poetry."

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

'The action next week is going to be in bird seed, but if you quote me, I'll deny I said it.'

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

'It's a glorious day over Wall Street today, with barely a 20 chance of the sky falling.'

I was more a financial magician myself. I could make money disappear very easily.

"I recommend that you dump the tech stocks and go into acorns."

'Thank goodness we don't need profits in order to make piles of money.'

'A penny saved is a penny not stimulating the economy.'

'I believe in Santa Claus, and I believe in the guaranteed annual 10% return.'

'I'm beginning to worry -- everything I've got is tied up in investment newsletters!'

Poet

'It was love at first sight!'

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on...'

'I own Acme Drug stock, so fill this prescription with their product.'

"It's your cat broker, Madame - he has a hot tip on a Siamese."

"...rhyme...rhyme...rhyme..."