Rhymes Gifts

'Stop complaining that we never go anywhere. You knew I was the little piggy who stayed home when you married me.'

Fuzzy Wuzzy Logic.

"That little piggy can't have roast beef - I'm a vegetarian!"

So, upon re-entry I inadvertently knocked the egg off the wall, scared away a flock of sheep, and bumped a spider from its web. Awesome jump over the moon! And now he just needs to create some crazy story, like a dish running away with a spoon, to make everybody forget he caused all these mishaps!

But does anyone write a rhyme about you when you fall off a wagon? Noooo

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

'We now have a suspect in the shocking knife attack on the tails of three sight impaired victims. However, the only thing police know about her at this point is that she's married to a farmer.'

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

"Once we get the doors open, we'll see all the people."

"Do you hear what I hear?"

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

The Pink Bantha

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

Poetry Buff.

'We're out of blackbirds -- how about four-and-twenty hamburgers?'

"By the way, does anything other than 'trouble' rhyme with 'bubble'?"

'I'm a little tea pot...' 'Act your age.'

"Great moments in songwriting" "What if she had a little lamb?" "Maybe it follows her to school?" "Wouldn't that make the children laugh?" "Exactly."

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

Poetry Reading. Physics Lecture. Which'll it be -- rhyme or reason?

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

'You're a poet? I've got a great simile for you.'

Let's see what's around the poetry corner. You mean, we should take a turn for the verse.

"This isn't how the story went at all."

The Little Old Lady Goes Fishing.

"Okay, the mice can be blind, but if we introduce a carving knife, we'll have to use it in the third stanza."

'Nana nana, Bo Fana, Banana Fana, Fo Fana Fee Fy Banana.'

4 Rules For 'Serious' Poets

Can I ask you something man-to-man? Shoot. Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa? What order would best simulate sincerity? Very bad man.

Humpty Dumpty is sitting on a wall, Below is a man with a boiling pot waiting for him to land in it, Man is licking is lips, he has napkin on and is holding a knife and fork,

Physiotherapist tells Humpty Dumpty: 'OK, you've had a great fall, but we'll have you back on that wall in no time.'

'I'm writing a poem -- what rhymes with 'hegemony'?'

When I say "jump," you say "how high?" Not " Cinderella, dressed in yella, went upstairs to kiss a fella."