Rhyme Creator Gifts

'The music teacher told us to write a song for the Secretary of Education. The bad news is, I'm suspended from school now and the psychologist wants to meet you. The good news is, I sold my sonf to Eminem.'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

The Pink Bantha

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

How a poet works

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

Shakespeare or Bacon or maybe Marlowe.

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

"By the way, does anything other than 'trouble' rhyme with 'bubble'?"

'We're out of blackbirds -- how about four-and-twenty hamburgers?'

"The steering-committee three are we. Run it by us, and we'll see."

"Great moments in songwriting" "What if she had a little lamb?" "Maybe it follows her to school?" "Wouldn't that make the children laugh?" "Exactly."

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

"Permission to speak in rhyming couplets, sir!"

"Great news, babe. I'm on the fall schedule."

'You're a poet? I've got a great simile for you.'

Forrest Gander

'I really need to become a great poet while I still have time before I graduate.'

'Major poets' 'Minor poets' 'Free agents'

"Do you hear what I hear?"

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

4 Rules For 'Serious' Poets

Can I ask you something man-to-man? Shoot. Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa? What order would best simulate sincerity? Very bad man.

"Apparently the little miss was last seen sitting on a tuffet. If only we knew what a tuffet was."

Person playing the cymbals.

'Nana nana, Bo Fana, Banana Fana, Fo Fana Fee Fy Banana.'

"Hop? Jig? Dance? You're a dancer? Sounds like? Prancer? Cancer? Cancer! I got cancer!"

Fuzzy Wuzzy Logic.

Bad Rhymes