Rhyme Ruler Gifts

'I'm writing a poem -- what rhymes with 'hegemony'?'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

I love my Timpani

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

Malcolm Sargent

How a poet works

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

Shakespeare or Bacon or maybe Marlowe.

"The steering-committee three are we. Run it by us, and we'll see."

"By the way, does anything other than 'trouble' rhyme with 'bubble'?"

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

"Permission to speak in rhyming couplets, sir!"

'Major poets' 'Minor poets' 'Free agents'

'I really need to become a great poet while I still have time before I graduate.'

"This isn't how the story went at all."

'You're a poet? I've got a great simile for you.'

"Great news, babe. I'm on the fall schedule."

Forrest Gander

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

Humpty Dumpty is sitting on a wall, Below is a man with a boiling pot waiting for him to land in it, Man is licking is lips, he has napkin on and is holding a knife and fork,

4 Rules For 'Serious' Poets

"Apparently the little miss was last seen sitting on a tuffet. If only we knew what a tuffet was."

"Okay, the mice can be blind, but if we introduce a carving knife, we'll have to use it in the third stanza."

'Chairman of the Bard' at a poetry magazine.

"Hop? Jig? Dance? You're a dancer? Sounds like? Prancer? Cancer? Cancer! I got cancer!"

Fuzzy Wuzzy Logic.

'Poet Laureate' door 'Gone to lunch-back twixt 2 &3'

Bad Rhymes

"I'm not so much interested in 'wellness' as I am 'swellness'."