Rhyme Detective Gifts

'I can't believe this. . . 'There was a young man from Nantucket...'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

How a poet works

'Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?'

Poetry repairman

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

Deconstructionist girlfriend

Shakespeare or Bacon or maybe Marlowe.

"By the way, does anything other than 'trouble' rhyme with 'bubble'?"

I'm a little disappointed -- I always thought the ultimate secret to the universe would rhyme.

Poetry Reading. Physics Lecture. Which'll it be -- rhyme or reason?

"The steering-committee three are we. Run it by us, and we'll see."

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

"Permission to speak in rhyming couplets, sir!"

"Great news, babe. I'm on the fall schedule."

Forrest Gander

Alexander Pope.

"This isn't how the story went at all."

'I really need to become a great poet while I still have time before I graduate.'

'Major poets' 'Minor poets' 'Free agents'

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

"Apparently the little miss was last seen sitting on a tuffet. If only we knew what a tuffet was."

"It's for weird minds - they're not wired like mine...oh! I'm a poet and didn't know it!"

"Full...full..full... what the hell rhymes with bull?"

Humpty Dumpty is sitting on a wall, Below is a man with a boiling pot waiting for him to land in it, Man is licking is lips, he has napkin on and is holding a knife and fork,

'Nana nana, Bo Fana, Banana Fana, Fo Fana Fee Fy Banana.'

"Okay, the mice can be blind, but if we introduce a carving knife, we'll have to use it in the third stanza."

"Hop? Jig? Dance? You're a dancer? Sounds like? Prancer? Cancer? Cancer! I got cancer!"

'Poet Laureate' door 'Gone to lunch-back twixt 2 &3'

Bad Rhymes

'Fum foo fee fee...nope...fo fum fee foo...nah...fum fee fi fo...phoeey...fee foo...'

"'I sent this to you through the mail to say I hope your day is swell.' What's wrong with that?"

"I'm not so much interested in 'wellness' as I am 'swellness'."