Rhetoric Collector Pillows

"Honing our political debate skills?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Historical memory is on life support.

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'Bert's dog training.'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

"...and your ears! They're like silk purses!"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Say hello to my little friend."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Eat me"

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Sauce for the Goose

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Cake Free Zone

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

The devil you know and his plus one

Girl to boy, 'Mom says don't play it again, Sam.'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

A watch face with Stonehenge

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'