Rhetoric Collector Gifts

"Honing our political debate skills?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Historical memory is on life support.

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'Bert's dog training.'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

"...and your ears! They're like silk purses!"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Cake Free Zone

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Sauce for the Goose

"Eat me"

"Say hello to my little friend."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

The devil you know and his plus one

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

Girl to boy, 'Mom says don't play it again, Sam.'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

Easter Island Shades...

A watch face with Stonehenge

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"