Criticism Collector Pillows

Herman Mankiewicz

Reading my Critics

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Final words on gravestones.

The New World Order

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

Sculptor's chippings

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

The water desk

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

Slave Drivers.

Art Critics.

'Thanks for not asking for a rise.'

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

'Typical phallic egocentrism!'

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

My boss is a real turd.

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."