Revenge Of The Taxpayer Gifts

'Oh good, a tax rebate. And I didn't even declare anything in the first place.'

Tax Collector

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

See the house whose property taxes were raised

"You can file as a limited liability company in this State, but you'll be subject to a 'Not So Fast, Buddy' franchise fee."

'Since our stadium was built with taxpayer support, I regret to inform you that all incentive and signing bonuses must be returned.'

"If it's the I.R.S., tell them: Not a penny! Not a centime! Not a sou!"

There is not much left after deductions and taxes, is there, Rodney?

Coudl I go to jail for something I didn't do? I didn't pay my income tax!

'IRS Help Hot Line. While you're on hold for the next 23 hours, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

IRS No more waterboarding at audits.

"I know you all paid your taxes last month, but since then we've had tax reform!"

A filing cabinet of taxes lands on the American Gothic couple.

'Well, I hope you're satisfied -- I spent all afternoon going over your return, and I can't find a thing wrong with it!'

Your tax $ at work...unless it's a weekend, one of 17 holidays or after 4 PM!

'The only thing that is certain in life is death and taxes!'

'Cold weather doesn't bother me - I just think about April 15th and start to sweat.'

Actually, I was looking for a tax haven.

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

"It's simple, but it works for us!"

Duty Free Closed to Public

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

"Relax! You loaded the monopoly game by mistake instead of the 'Prepare Your Income Tax' program."

'This is the third year in a row I'm being audited. Might this have something to do with the fact that I'm your ex-husband?'

"Dad's really sweating. Was he working out?"

'You may march to a different drummer, but you still have to pay the same piper.'

'It was inevitable that sooner or later he'd be working here.'

"There will always be death and taxes."

'Look at the bright side, Wiggins. You have the perfect portfolio for someone who doesn't like to pay for any taxes.'

Let me handle him okay?

Debt is a tax with interest added on.

'The trouble with politicians is that they always put MY money where their mouth is'

'G+N Accountants': 'Mr Gross' (fat) and 'Mr Net' (thin).

"I'm a overachiever. I always give 100 percent."

"The doctor said he needed to sweat off some pounds, so I lied and told him our accountant called to say we're being audited."