Revenge Of The Tax Nerd Gifts

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

New Improved I.R.S.

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

'You Americans call it 'Illegal Tax Evasion'? Well, here in Europe, we call it 'Monaco Effect Investments''!

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

Stimulus bust

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

Our 4 Branches of Government

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'Of course, we could drop the enquiry and agree to henceforth leave each other alone.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.