Return To Live Performances Gifts

Cellist wearing face mask.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Zombie standup

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Anna Calvi

"This next one's another oldie."

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Modern Major General

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

Applause

Senta jumps into the sea

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Mikado

Theatre Crowd

Eric Clapton.

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

"Tong!"

"Free Bird!"

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

Plum jam...

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

Ginger Baker.

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"Here's a request from someone who'd like to hear something in tune for a change. Oh, we have a comedian out there, I see."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

A man and a woman discussing the skill of the pianist.