Retro Romantics T-Shirts

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

"I like walks in the rain, old barns, and Edna St. Vincent Millay. Does that ring any bells?"

'Who do you think you're kidding? — the AARP doesn't have secret agents!'

Old School Likes

"I hit her on the head with my club! No reaction! I hit her again! Absolutely no reaction! I don't understand "the dating game" anymore!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

Mary Tyler Moore: Spot the Difference

Fossil record player.

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Colonial Larrysburg.

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"This woman's lib is getting beyond a joke!"

'Like many studs of my generation, I have always had a love affair with the harmonica.'

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"While he was in Paris, Warren knew Picasso, Miró, Hemingway, Stravinsky, Cocteau, and Fitzgerald. Nothing ever came of it."

'You're always living in the past.'

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"All this online learning sort of makes you miss the head lice days, huh?"

Groovy Baby

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

"I think you're suffering from nostalgia, Mr. Prentice."

"Yes, we do fix phones. But, what is that?"

Young Elvis

Welcome to a parallel universe. It's like 50 years ago, man. Coffee costs a quarter, tie-dye is groovy, there is a draft. Lots of differences: Free love, man. Corporations are evil. And some similarities. Joy is a new 8-track player. Shut yer #@$% yapper!

“Hold on—wait until those people are out of the way.”

Old Book Smell

Too young for the sixties, too squeamish for the seventies, too unambitious for the eighties, too technophobic for the 90s, too poor for the '00s, too old for the 'teens."

"He may be 90 but he's got the body of an 85 year old."

"It's a sad state of affairs when Lever House begins to seem like a warm old friend."

"Late Jurassic is so Retro..."

In the eighties, Americans knew how to be Americans. Big cars. Big radios. Big hair. Everything was big. Unfortunately, I was so buff that all my huge stuff looked tiny in comparison. So I would loan my stuff to the skinniest, wimpiest kid I could find. Hold this. Let me reminisce vicariously through you. (Sigh.) Those were the days. Is it working?

"So, you're still doing the Western thing."

'I miss the great depression.'