Retro Relics Appreciator Gifts

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

An old man wearing a band t-shirt

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

Snapshots in Time

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

Future Candidates For "Colorization"

Baby car seat for a Native American.

Phone Call

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

"Good night, Al. We still haven't found it."

'Come on...no one would be dumb enough to buy those in a million years!'

"Careful now. It's fragile."

Retro Fashions door sign reads 'Out to lunch -back before you know it.'

'Hey, we're in style!'

"Carbon paper? Typewriter ribbon? An ashtray? After your retirement, have you considered opening a museum?"

boy listening to ghetto blaster on his shoulder

'Sorry, guys. I can't go out. I'm grounded.'

Michelangelo's David

'Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be...'

'I'm very proud of what he achieved during his life.'

Dueling marionettes.

'You want me to be more like I was when we were first married? OK, I'll put away the remote and change it manually.'

'Judging by that old fashioned light bulb, your idea must be outdated.'

The Shape of Progress.

Any old Gold - 'There's a man ahead of his time'

'I believe this is one of the original sets'