Retro Health Enthusiast Gifts

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "What'll it mean if Trump ends up winning?" "Excellent question. It reminds me of questions very few people asked 90 years ago when Mussolini came to power in Italy." "Other questions that went unasked back then: 'Is sucking down smoke all day long bad for me?' 'Is it a bad idea to buy radioactive beauty cream?'" "'Is cocaine really the best remedy for indigestion?!'" "People sure were dumb back then."

"Milton finally found a doctor he can trust - one who still believes in the healing power of money."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Diner.

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Your contents have shifted."

"And this is our media room."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"Desmond likes to live in the moment. . . and that moment happens to be 1960."

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

'Your reflexes are still good!'

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Early Colour TV

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.