Retro Diner Enthusiast T-Shirts

Cafeteria - "Today's special is yesterday's catch of the day."

'Not only is smoking permitted, we insist on it!'

Mom's Diner - You just wait until your father gets home!

Diner.

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Who gets the decaf?'

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Choice hellhole

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"The usual."

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

'Are you sure this is a good restaurant, Frank?'

Punkcakes

Dad's Dinner: The Best in Frozen Foods.

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

'I'll take the S. O. S. breakfast special...hold the shingle.'

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

"This is a self-service diner. I cook the meals and I eat them myself."

"The omelette is fine. I just wish someone would ask how I am."

'Excuse me - there's a fly in my soup!'