Retro Diner Enthusiast T-Shirts

Cafeteria - "Today's special is yesterday's catch of the day."

'Not only is smoking permitted, we insist on it!'

Mom's Diner - You just wait until your father gets home!

Diner.

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Who gets the decaf?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Choice hellhole

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"The usual."

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

'Excuse me - there's a fly in my soup!'

Dad's Dinner: The Best in Frozen Foods.

"This is a self-service diner. I cook the meals and I eat them myself."

'Are you sure this is a good restaurant, Frank?'

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

"The omelette is fine. I just wish someone would ask how I am."