Retro Appliances Gifts

'Why do you want a chimney sweep anyway? You're all electric...'

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

Fossil record player.

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

Roasted

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

Boombox

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

'Father, when are you going to get software for our home computer that will teach me French?'

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

"Oh, come on, you know we should have switched to touch-tone years ago."

Man with candle in thought bubble, "Ideas before Edison"

"However good father's 'beaver-o-matic' was..."

'This old VCR warms a mean bagel.'

Young Geeks.

Millennials in the Year 2050...

"I love you, even though you still use a flip phone."

"What about that! His brain still uses the old vacuum tubes."

'Mr. Wigglerum finally paid his bill but he did it by faxing us cash.'

A man jumps on a pile of papers in the Data Comprestion Unit.

'The key to inner peace? A land line.'

"Now it's high definition!"

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

'When I was young I wanted to be a poet, but we couldn't afford a typewriter.'

"Remember always power up you machine clockwise"

'After you're done crank starting your computer, maybe we can talk about investing in better technology.'

'This is the only secure line in the building.'

Have you seen this toaster?

The first recorded e-mail message was launched in the Gobi Desert by Kikitake Suji

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

"OMIGOD! I'm becoming my predecessor!"