Vintage Appliance Lover Gifts

"This is our Cardio Model. No motor."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

Roasted

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

We have a nice selection of office artifacts, a typewriter, carbon paper, ashtrays, our CEO's last handwritten memo...

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

Entertainment systems

"My compliments to the can opener."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

Forty-five words per minute? Impossible!

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

Natural Stupidity is no match for Artificial Intelligence.

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

Scales

The kitchen at Abel Cottage

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"Does it come with magnets?"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

'I want a computing system that has a few more games programmed into it.'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"To toast!"

'It's amazing - He can't even tell time, yet he can program the VCR.'