Retirement Worrier Pillows

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

I.T. Fear

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

Expensive health care

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

No Action Comics

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

The Circle.

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'Doc - this isn't going to cost me a lot - is it?'

'Panic over...it's not mumps just high blood pressure.'

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

"Your disgust over ballooning healthcare costs is just a natural part of the aging process."

Energy Bills

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'Of course things change: our fathers were replaced by machines - we'll be replaced with new software.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'I'm sorry to tell that your husband's coverage has expired.'

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'