Retail Romancer Gifts

Coming Soon: Another place to buy stuff!

'Hypermarket' and 'Chill Market'.

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

Say it with flowers

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

Self-Checkout.

Run from the hills!

Last Chance for Everything.

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'Don't forget our 'Bargain basement', sir.'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

'No thanks, just looking.'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

Seven deadly sins store

Temporarily closed to rethink our concept.

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

"Look's like a dummy run to me!"

Shopaholic

Giant sale - 'Sorry Luv - that's the last one.'

"Would you like to come in and see my cave drawings?"